Jory
1 Entry and 2 Reviews
Entries
Jory
Jo-Iso
Reviews
Super Scam
Yeah I am with steel potato.
This is a really good punchline that lasted 5 minutes.
Questions I would ask if I was in the writing room with you would be:
Who is our character we are following and what is it you are trying to say?
If the answer was something like:
We are following the woman on the phone and we are trying to say her job is boring.
Then we need more of our time with her going through the different phases of her boring day while answering the phone (Where the punchline can be repeated).
Sending emails, (phone rings).
Making coffee, (phone rings).
Throwing rubbish at the bin (phone rings).
It is mind blogging how many of these you got in there.
It really does look really good.
Āta
For some reason I couldn't watch this here.
So I have to do this from memory.
Maori titles are tricky because words in isolation don't mean anything so can be taken in lots of ways. Which makes it a little disorienting for a reo Maori speaker because this has a lot going on and I was still figuring out which Āta you meant. My assumption is that you meant Alter?
Also didn't mind the open for interpretation imagery because the intent felt like it is something you can come back to again and again. (Which is annoying because vimeo won't let me watch it).
Loved the details of the kete of knowledge.
The stick figures ending with a physical space where they actually are.
As steel potato mentioned, it's tricky to squash general historical events into a tidy story structure. But I think you would have to solve Colonisation to get that to fit. Which is a bit much for a 48.
Keep it up